Ossorio: Hum, what do you know. What's your reaction to "People become what they are treated as being"? I would say it's illuminating, and it's not true. However, it only takes a minor modification. There is a tendency for people to become the way they are treated as being. And under certain circumstances, the tendency may be very strong. And in others it may be weak.

Member of Audience: Is that treatment by others, or treatment by others and themselves?

Ossorio: Let me review for you the notion of Move 2. Move 2 is one of several Influence Principles. It goes like this. "Making Move 2 makes it difficult for Move 1 not to have already occurred." Well, treating somebody as being a certain sort is making a Move 2. It's going to make it difficult for him to be anything else. That's why there is a tendency for people to become that. On the other hand, it's also a status assignment. And with status assignments they not only have to made; they have to be accepted before they are successful. And there are several other principles. One that says "Coercion elicits resistance." Another that says "Threatened degradation elicits self affirmation." And a special case of that is "Provocation elicits hostility." So if what I'm treated as being amounts to a degradation, there is a good chance that I won't become that way. Instead I will self affirm. I will reject it.

Now it happens that kids are poorly placed to reject their parents' status assignments. But it can happen. And in organizations and in groups, it's often difficult for one individual to reject a status assignment made by all of the rest of the people. Because if everybody insists on treating you as a nerd and that's the only way they will deal with you and no matter what you do, that's how they deal with you, it's pretty hard to fight. See all you can do is that up here [points] you say "Screw you." But it's very easy to go along with it. It's much easier than you might think. One of the clinical places where that shows up is when people visit their parents. And the parents treat them like the children that they were and people fall into the very same old things that they used to do as children with their parents. And it's a very powerful influence. And when they come back it's like they are immigrants. They can sort of shake it off.

So, yeah, there is a tendency for people to become the way they are treated as being. And unilaterally I can assign you a status and no matter what you do, I'll keep assigning you that status. In that sense you have no choice about it. What you have a choice about is you don't have to accept it. But you also can't make me stop assigning you that status. So then it may be a stand off. Again, one of the things that makes a difference in how easily you become the way you are treated as being is how easy it is to be that way. Some times it is very easy to be that way in which case you are more likely to do it.

Member of Audience: What are your comments on how that applies to therapeutic principles for kids being bullied or school situations where there is a lot of peer pressure...

Ossorio: Say that again.

Member of Audience: The status assignments of the group. How individuals can resist certain groups.

Ossorio: Okay. Let me try a slightly different angle. If I make a status assignment on you, it's like I hand you a contract and I have already signed it. And the contract says "If you will be this way, I will treat you that way." That's how you do business with me. And all you've got to do is put your name on the dotted line and we are in business. So a status assignment gives you the opportunity to be the way I have assigned you. If that's attractive, you don't need to be forced into it. You will walk right in because it's an opportunity. Now with peer groups, you see, there is enough attraction there so that often people walk right into it. They don't see anything wrong with it and there it is. It's like honey attracting flies. How would you prepare them not to be attracted, not to see that as a great opportunity?

Member of Audience: Actually, yeah, you are giving a different case than I was thinking of. I was thinking more of the bully situation. I think you are thinking more of the appeal of drugs, gangs, one of those.

Ossorio: Yeah.

Member of Audience: I am thinking of how somebody can reject negative status assignments.

Ossorio: Well, anything that will build self-esteem, genuine self-esteem, will serve as insulation against that and increase the likelihood that instead of going along, the person will self affirm. Any way of implementing the self affirmation makes it easier to self affirm and follow through. So when a father teaches a kid to fight, he is teaching him how to implement rejecting that kind of status assignment. If he can implement that, then it is much easier for him to carry off the self affirmation. And more generally, providing alternatives that are again implementable and attractive.